Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Laws of Combat


Republishing this item I wrote years back.


Murphy’s Laws Of Combat

  • If the enemy is in range, so are you.
  • Incoming fire has the right of way.
  • Don’t look conspicuous, it draws fire.
  • There is always a way.
  • The easy way is always mined.
  • Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
  • Professionals are predictable, it’s the amateurs that are dangerous.
  • The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: a. When you’re ready for them. b. When you’re not ready for them.
  • Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
  • If you can’t remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
  • The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
  • A “sucking chest wound” is natures way of telling you to slow down.
  • If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
  • Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
  • Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
  • Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won’t be able to get out.
  • Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
  • If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in a combat zone.
  • When you have secured an area, don’t forget to tell the enemy.
  • Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.




———
My version (A Tribute to the Philippine Armed Forces/Constabulary):

  • If the enemy is in range, you have been attacked.
  • If the enemy is in range but you don’t see them, you are being ambushed.
  • If incoming fire has the right of way, outgoing fire needs a competent driver.
  • Don’t look suspicious, the Philippine Anti-Terror Law (Human Security Act) is already being implemented.
  • The easy way is always mined. Be very careful though, the MILF and other secessionists claim Basilan for  their territory (both the easy and hard ways are theirs).
  • Professionals are predictable, it’s the amateurs that are dangerous. And there’s only 1% probability you will encounter MILFs, MNLFs, JIs, or Abus who are professionals.
  • Enemy attacks are more brutal when there are peace talks.
  • It's most probable that you don’t know which is a diversion or which a real attack.
  • A “sucking chest wound” means a medal and promotion when you survive, a full honors burial and posthumous promotion when you don’t.
  • If your attack is going well, the moles in your ranks had been busy planning a coup.
  • Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you. But you may if you want to be a senator.
  • Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won’t be able to get out. Make it easy and you will be in the news – headless, amputated.
  • When you have secured an area, don’t forget to tell the enemy. And don’t worry too much about announcing it, the Philippine media already spilled the details.
  • Never forget that the weapons you used for practice drills were the ones lent by the yanks during the Balikatan exercises. They already got those back (or stored somewhere for some other purpose). You’re no longer in a practice drill, it’s combat zone for real.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Karambola

Translated, it can sound like and mean the local fruit "balimbing" or the star fruit (in English). It can also mean a rowdy fight or anything unpleasantly disorderly.


DWIZ's daily (weekdays) morning show (8:00-10:00 AM) is an interesting radio show. True to its title, it's a noisy show with at least 4 hosts doing the daily banter and commentary, and at least two of them occasionally talking at the same time. It's not the perfect radio program, but it can easily be a good source of significant information and insights for listeners to form informed and fair opinions.  


(Listen to a sample Karambola clip after the jump)



Seeds

I have this good/bad habit of eating fruit seeds. I always thought if I get those non-digestible bits inside my tummy, I would tend to consume less since I would feel full earlier than expected. Just frowned to learn that many if not most fruit seeds tend to be toxic. A few seeds aren't a bother but taking in more than what the "normal" fruit eater would consume means some danger.

According to the American Medical Association's (AMA) Handbook of Poisonous and Injurous Plants, eating large amounts of apple seeds (and other seeds) can be fatal. The culprit: cyanogenic glycoside or cyanide. Some fruits known for seeds that contain cyanide include apples, cherries, apricots, nectarines, peaches, and plums.

I usually enjoy my seed swallowing binge with the lanzones, watermelon, apple, and citrus fruits. Haven't found reliable information regarding the lanzones (the seeds in particular) toxicity but it's hard to overlook the AMA handbook's "and other seeds" line.

I haven't encountered the following symptoms yet...

  • excessive sweating
  • abdonminal pain
  • vomiting
  • lethargy


...so I'm quite sure I haven't accumulated enough poison inside my powerful gut yet. I have been warned, though.




Saturday, March 6, 2010

iPad is a funny name...a MadTV already wrote a joke about it years back



So it's just like a spoof made serious. Hasn't Apple ever seen this? What's next?
An iBoard?
iMat?
iFloor?
iPool?

Hmm... I don't really think iPad's a bad name though.
Just reporting this fuss here...

Friday, March 5, 2010

Youtube's Video Transcription Feature is Funny


One helluva funny feature!
Tried it this morning and I can't help myself from laughing.
Dunno but it just reminds me of Chinese/Taiwanese product packages from the bargain store.

Activate it on any YouTube video (it's up now) and see what I'm talking about. It's really very similar to those words you see in Chinese products' boxes/packaging. You know what they mean or at least what they're trying to mean but the words just read out funny and out of place. I'm just not sure if Youtube's gonna achieve what it wants to achieve by putting this transcribing feature up.

It does one thing for me though...
...Instant Laughs!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

...Matapos ko ang kahirapan ko... Magagawa ko rin sa inyo...

  ...Nung matapos ko ang kahirapan ko... Magagawa ko rin sa inyo...

Ain't you bothered by this line from the latest Manny Villar ad?

Really creepy for me...



 WHY?


 The statement says:

 Nung matapos ko ang kahirapan ko... Magagawa ko rin sa inyo.

Tanong: Ano ang tinapos nya?
Sagot: Tinapos niya ang kahirapan nya.
take note of the verb (TAPOS, TINAPOS) 

Tanong: Ano ang gagawin nya sa inyo?
Sagot: TATAPUSIN nya rin KAYO!!!

BWAHHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!








Yan ang napapala nang naliligo sa dagat ng basura!!!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Pinoy Hangaroo

Something wrong with me? Why couldn't I seem to properly guess the right letters and words in this localized Hangaroo game. I've lived practically my entire life being a Filipino, living the life of a Filipino but why couldn't I easily guess the band names, food, or folk dances featured in this game?